SELF SABOTAGE-WHY PEOPLE DON’T ALWAYS HEAL

SELF SABOTAGE-WHY PEOPLE DON’T ALWAYS HEAL

Self-sabotage occurs when someone (consciously or unconsciously) undermines their own progress.

It can affect any or all aspects of the person’s life; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, and the root cause of it is generally lack of self-worth/self-love/self-esteem, and a feeling that we are undeserving and unworthy in some way.

HOW CAN I TELL IF I’M SELF-SABOTAGING?

* You struggle to stay in a healthy relationship.

* You never attain health or fitness goals (eg. effective weight loss, stopping smoking)

* You never advance in your career, even although you have the skills, knowledge and experience.

* Procrastination-you put off or avoid doing things that you know will help you progress or reach goals.

* You make excuses for why you are not actively pursuing your goals in a healthy way.

* Addictions- even although you know they are bad for your health and wellbeing, you continue to smoke/drink/take recreational drugs.

* Overeating or eating junk food rather than sticking to a healthy diet most of the time.

WHY DO WE SELF-SABOTAGE?

There are many reasons why we self-sabotage, but at the very root of self-sabotaging behaviour is a lack of self-love and self-worth, a belief that we are somehow unworthy or undeserving of happiness and success. Other causes might be:

• Having something to gain from the original condition, for example, someone with a chronic illness who sabotages healing efforts because to be well would mean they would lose their disability benefits.
• Vulnerability Avoidance-Not taking risks means not failing, which means we are not operating out of our own control/comfort zone.
• To protect our Ego-Again, fear of failure holds us back. Sometimes we feel it would crush our ego to fail, so we make a half-hearted attempt to ensure failure and stay within our safe zone.
• Impostor Syndrome-the better we get at something and the higher we fly, the more our ego might stick a spanner in the works to bring us back down to Earth. We worry that we are getting bigheaded.
• Staying in your ‘box’, or comfort zone. It can be uncomfortable and scary taking risks and pushing boundaries, so many people have limited themselves and their successes with their own beliefs about what they think they deserve.

As a multidimensional healer, I also find  other causes of self-sabotage:

• Past life experiences, for example, someone who has lived a life where they starved may compensate in this life by overeating.
• Trauma-can cause us to feel unworthy of love, success or happiness, so we subconsciously sabotage opportunities to experience these.
• Karmic imprints and loops-traumas and behaviour patterns from past lives become ingrained over time, among them self-sabotage.
• Punishing oneself for some perceived slip up.
• Influence of attached entities-these entities may attach and encourage addictions or destructive behaviour patterns. Through the client’s addiction and their resulting shame, the entity can steal the client’s light and life/spiritual energy.
• Energy markers, for example childhood trauma where a child was neglected, abandoned or abused can cause energetic imprints on the energy field which attract like energies. In that way, the client always attracts more unhealthy, abusive relationships.

One of the most common forms of self-sabotage I see is when someone makes an appointment for a healing session then cancels it at the last minute.

I had one client who made several appointments in this way, and it almost got to the point where I told her to find another healer as it obviously wasn’t meant to be me. When she did show up, she had over thirty dark entities attached which were causing her many different problems. Once those entities were removed, she was able to move on and continue her healing.

Another client with a chronic condition seemed keen to start healing, but from the outset she made it clear that she was handing total responsibility for her healing over to me. It was very much ‘fix me’ instead of ‘what can I do to support my own healing?’ She had difficulty understanding that I was just a facilitator, and that the true healing would come from herself.

During the session, it came up that she enjoyed the attention and help that she got from her husband, and feared that if she wasn’t ill, he would leave her and she would have no-one.

Although she made good progress over a couple of sessions, she began to self-sabotage by making excuses for why she couldn’t come back (lack of money, time, etc.). Needless to say, after a short while she was back at square one, complaining that nothing I did seemed to help her.

Sometimes people book sessions as couples because their relationship isn’t going well. Quite often, one partner is putting more into the relationship than the other while the other partner picks fights or cheats on them. This behaviour often stems from fear of commitment.

If one partner pushes the other hard enough, the other may end the relationship because they can’t tolerate the strain anymore. When this happens, the self-sabotaging partner (fear of commitment) feels totally validated and blames the other for leaving. They rarely take responsibility for their own sabotaging behaviour.

Often this self-sabotaging behaviour can be traced back to dysfunctional relationships they have been in together in past lives, where karmic imprints were created causing these behaviour patterns to become deeply entrenched in the clients’ energy fields.

When these imprints are removed and the emotional blockages and soul contracts are cleared, healing can progress.

Often, clients who come for help KNOW they are self-sabotaging. Like most issues, going back to the root or origin of the behaviour is the way I approach it. It may be karmic, the result of past life experiences or trauma.

When we find the root, we can start to clear all the energetic cords, traumas, karmic imprints and programming, allowing the client to understand and acknowledge the set of circumstances that have led to the problem.

One of the best ways to get the client to really think about breaking the cycle is to ask them ‘What is the benefit you get from sabotaging_______ in your life?’ or ‘What benefits do you get out of being ill/eating junk food/fighting with your partner?’. It can be uncomfortable, but being really honest is key.

If you are experiencing issues with self-sabotage or would like to experience a healing session with me, please use the contact information on my website.

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